Raw

1 Peter 1:3-2:12.

"Lord Jesus, sometimes you just strip me down to the raw bone.  Longing rises up in me for you, and I can't even describe it--I just know I need you, I just want you.  I can't put into words this longing and so I go to your words to help me get there.

The longing I have leads me to say this one thing:  I sometimes don't know what to do!  What does it mean to "serve" you?  What does it look like suffer for you?  I know that you tell me that faith is of greater worth than gold but how come I can't see that?  Why does my heart and mind struggle to really understand what that means?

You tell me of "salvation" and of "glory", incredible things that seem so far beyond my ability to comprehend.  You speak of angels that long to look into these things and understand--as though they don't have a clue themselves.  How on earth am I supposed to know what these things mean?

I'm supposed to have my mind "prepared for action" among many other things.  I would love to, but it seems difficult to me to know what steps to take so that I can be genuinely prepared.

At the end of it all you caress my soul with words that portray something absolutely unbelievable---do you really think I am a "royal priest"?  Do you imagine me to be holy and part of a holy nation?  Do you love me so unconditionally that you openly state that I "belong" to you?  How can that be?

You have chosen me.  You have chosen me.  I can't believe it, but you have chosen me.

I am raw in your Presence, I have no words, I have no thoughts, I am simply found in the I AM.

Beautiful is all I can say.